I got tagged by Kristen over at Motherhood Uncensored ages ago and, to be honest, I don’t even quite remember what I am meant to do, but has that ever stopped me before?
I think it was something like this...
Ten things about me:
(1) I brush my teeth standing very upright with my left hand on my hip, like I’m doing a Broadway number. My dad did that: the brushing, not the Broadway.
(2) I’ve always hated that scene in the movie version of Frankie and Johnny in the Claire de Lune where Michele Pfeiffer and Al Pacino are having a drawn-out fight and Michele is brushing her teeth during the whole thing. I’m not buying it. She didn’t have any toothpaste on that brush or she would have gagged a thousand times by then, or at least have been wearing a modern design of spittle across her chest.
(3) Sometimes I like to sit very far forward on the toilet seat when I pee and lean down as far as I can. For some reason, it cracks me up.
(4) Fluffy is my son’s nickname, one of many thousands, the leader of the pack. I don’t even know how it came to be since his real name doesn’t begin with F. It even doesn’t sound like Fluffy--not even close. Dave started calling him that during the first few weeks of his life and it’s still a front runner, though neck and neck with Mollyotto, Fluff-And-Folly-Onto, Tito, JollyOllyOnto, Mickandmollymoomoo. Kind of alarming to see it in print, isn’t it.
(5) I met a new mom at a “Mommy and Me” dance class about four years ago when both our son’s were approaching one. She dropped by one afternoon back then with a basket-full of miniature blueberry muffins beautifully displayed in gingham cloth and wicker tucked in the underbasket of her cranberry red jogger stroller. Here, she purred, we just love to bake things together. Really? I said, picking last night’s dinner out of my hair, here we just do a lot of screaming.
(6) A year ago, my father and stepmother came over to help us christen the addition that he designed. I served a surprisingly delicious and easy GFCF meal and after Fluffy’s 2 hour struggle to fall asleep, the grown-ups watched a slide show of their trip to Iraq, 5 months before the US invasion. We were dropping bombs then and had been since August-- a full 7 months before March 21, the start of this fucking war. (And now I will get 30 hits on the site from google searches with the phrase “fucking mom”. Go figure.)
(7) Some kids are maternal and some are predatory and that’s terrifying to me. Kids are going to make fun or Fluffy, tease him or perhaps even torment him and I will then have to kill them with my bare hands.
(8) People live everywhere. I really find that astounding.
(9) I got an email from someone who’s started blogging and wants to spread the word. No harm there. When I first started blogging, oh say, about a hundred years after everyone else started blogging, I sent out a group email to everyone saying, come check it out! I hoped they would like it and pass it on to whomever they also thought might like it. Some people were very generous and supportive, others said a quick hooray! Still others said not a world.
Okay. That’s fair. Everyone’s busy. But this person has snubbed us more once or twice and although it’s all water under the bridge and la la and I’ve moved on, seeing the email makes me want to clear my voice and say, news flash, this business of human interaction? It’s two way street. Two way, over here. Maybe there are some one way streets out there and maybe even I’ve tried to set some up and if so, I apologize for thinking I’m more interesting than the next guy. But jeez, hopefully I’m making all the streets nice and wide, with big shoulders because we all need to pull off the road for emergencies from time to time.
(10) Fluffy made one valentine. It was for his Dad. He glued the heart on the front and wrote, To Dad, on the inside. It was a huge deal--writing comes very hard for him--and Dave almost cried when he opened it. A couple days went by before he realized he never made a card for me. Of course, this occurred to him after bedtime stories and lights out and since he couldn’t get up right then and there to slap it together, he became despondent. I told him he had the whole week to do it and he cried harder, saying, but what if i don’t remember before the week is over? And I said, oh, did I say a week? I meant years! Er, you get as long as you need! There’s no deadline! And he peered at me in the nightlight glow and said, through sobs, Okay, mommy. (hiccup) Okay. I will make one for you the day before I die, and I said, and I will love it, honey! Then all was right and good again.
I brush my teeth standing very upright with my left hand on my hip, like I’m doing a Broadway number. My dad did that: the brushing, not the Broadway.
Posted by: Coach Outlet | May 23, 2011 at 11:38 PM
Just started blogging though I've been writing for thirty years and suddenly my grandpa who lives online thinks I'm a wordsmith but I have a secret blog that I won't tell my family about because it's just about mom stuff. And I say, let's not pave the world, let's all fly- but using our minds not airplanes because of the environmental impact- instead. Love your blog, sending pure love to you and your family, Momma Fee
Posted by: That Mom | February 19, 2006 at 01:02 PM
You are amazing. The two-way street, the valentine, the purring mother.
Ah-maze-ing.
Posted by: candace | February 18, 2006 at 10:47 PM
"No deadline for a valentine"---I will always say the same to Charlie!
Posted by: Kristina Chew | February 18, 2006 at 04:17 PM
K, this is a wonderful post...my favorite part is the one about interaction being a 2-way street. Lovely. Brilliant. Wish I'd thought of writing it the way you did.
Next favorite on my list is 10, and then 4 (I was the purring Mom, up until I returned to work, now I'm the food-in-the-hair Mom)...
Posted by: Felicity | February 18, 2006 at 07:18 AM
You are such a good writer! We have a mean kid coming over every day who lives down the hall. She stepped on the kid's feet intentionally yesterday, I almost broke them. In front of her mom. And I am glad we live on a wide two way street. It's very meaningful to me.xoxoxoxo
Posted by: kim | February 18, 2006 at 05:30 AM
#7 stands out to me - very much something that picks at my brain lately. Is it 5, is it that this is the time when so many other kids turn into mean little twits? Bub is in this amazing preschool co-op where I feel he is as safe as he could be without me, his teacher is amazing, small group, yadda yadda. I want him to stay in this co-op forever - like until he's 20. The thought of sending him to public school for even 5 minutes is paralyzing and terrifying to me. {cracks knuckles in preparation for mama bear neck wringing of snarky little twit-people} Grrr...
Posted by: ~ danielle | February 18, 2006 at 12:55 AM
PSS I like how in #9 you used the word WORLD instead of WORD.
And I'm sure daddy was very happy to get a valentine - your boy sounds sooooo sweet...
Kisses and thanks for doing this :)
Posted by: knq | February 18, 2006 at 12:47 AM
You're cute - it was the meme of twos or whatever - and I think roo tagged you too - but considering your back, we'll let you go! :) Kristen (PS I like my new name, it's VERY sassy - way sexier than Kristen - I'm going to try it out tomorrow)... LOL
Posted by: knq | February 18, 2006 at 12:44 AM