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mark twain? get real. how many asspies can make a funny?


This is a great blog
kudos to you

Adonya Wong

You are my new BFF!

My son was diagnosed in '05. I wish I had known about blogging back then because I probably would have come across your blog sooner vs. later.

Either way, I'm wicked glad I did, and I have to thank for the introduction.

Looking forward to catching up on your posts.

Adonya Wong
Author | Autism Activist | Blogger | Mom


Hey lady -

I've been reading everyone's comments (backwards, apparently), and it seems as though there's a pretty mixed opinion on "the list", but that there is general agreement on...hey, your the mom, you know your child best theory. Ain't that the truth?

Personally, I use the list to help SmallBoy (and stupid Ex) discover that ASDs are NOT disabilities, that he is not LIMITED by the Asperger's. He is a total computer/video game geek. When I told him about Gates and Einstein, he thought it was incredibly cool, first of all that there were grown-ups like him and, that they've done some really awesome things, including in his interest areas.

I don't know who made the comment about Bert, but WOW! Looking back - I would definitely say Bert had some Aspie traits. But that's neither here nor there.

Kyra you and Fluffy have made astounding leaps and bounds. You keep doing what works for you and we'll keep feeding off of little sponges soaking up all of your feedback! You are an awesome mom!


The famous people list is ridiculous. "Don't worry - your kid could grow up to be the next Thomas Edison!" Would they say about a kid with a physical disorder "don't worry about that pesky limp! If you let him walk more easily he'll LOSE something about himself!" Of course Fluffy's condition has shaped who he is, but that core doesn't go away by teaching him how to manage it and how to get along in the world as successfully as possible - just like when I teach my kid (with no official "diagnosis" of anything) how to manage his intensity in social situations, I'm not changing who he IS, but how he interacts with the world. All parents have to do this! Diagnosis or not.

Great post...


Also, Michael Jackson? Ewww.


My very favorite person (or muppet, as it were) with supposed Asperger's is Bert. He is very particular about the way he likes things, he often has difficulty with social relationships, and he focuses on very specific interests: birds and paper clips. When I feel like all this hoopla is getting me down, I think of Bert. It makes me smile.

In regards to the rest of your post, I agree with you 100%. I would not ever try to cure G. I love her for the way she is, but without the interventions we have done and continue to do, she would not be able to function in neurotypical society. Fitting in is not important - being happy and able to navigate that world is. And I do believe remediation is possible as well. You are a wonderful writer and capture so many thoughts and feelings so eloquently. Thank you.


I agree with teaching methods -- helping our kids, people with autism in a way they want to be helped. We have to help them achieve competence. Agree with you whole-heartedly.

HOWEVER, semantics reflects thought. I have to remind myself all the time, "whose interest am I serving here?" I often think it's a personal need -- having Adam and I meet somewhere in the middle of our two worlds.

We must always pay attention to semantics and how we think about difference as it reflects what or how we might teach our children.

I do not disagree with your argument. Hopefully just adding food for thought.



I'm with Felicity, I have nothing brillant to say but what an awesome post. Your words are so powerful and significant. Thank you as always for sharing your experience and words of wisdom and thank you for your helpful suggestions on my blog.

Vick Forman

Right on Kyra. These kids have honest, genuine difficulties. Their struggles are real, as are those of their families (especially their mothers, thank you very much). To say we are all the "same" is to ignore this very real struggle.

Yesterday a friend asked, quite in earnest, if my non verbal five year old ex super duper multiply disabled preemie "makes his needs known". My typical eight year old daughter was there and I turned to her. "What do you think?" I asked, to which she replied, "um, not really." It would be lovely to hold fast to our fantasies that these kids turn out, as I was told at Evan's birth "just fine." That they "make their needs known". That their mothers, with fierce mother love can make a difference. That our parent instincts don't go into a deep, gut feeling-less void. That is a fantasy for the normals, not for us. We know what it's really like, just as we know that Dan Ackroyd doesn't have autism.

Bless you... My bones are rattling, and in the very best way.


i respectfully disagree with you, estee, on a couple of points. i don't think the debate is about acceptance, as i do accept my son and don't believe that working on remediation contradicts this.i also know that remediation IS possible. kids have come off the spectrum through many avenues. i don't need my son to not have asperger's to be happy or to accept him, but if changes to the way i play and AM with him results in new neural pathways forming that allow for greater flexibility and a feeling of greater competency and confidence, i'm all for that. in fact, it's not different than what parents do with their NT kids ALL THE TIME and without thinking. in the case of ASD kids, you have to think it through, do it more slowly, more deliberately, but in the end it's the same thing--it's shaping a mind, helping your child make sense of the world they live in. all i'm saying is, why WOULD"T WE DO THAT WITH OUR ASD KIDS? that is what the debate is about for me.


"Remediate the autism"

Good luck. Autism stays with a person for life. While we are all trying to help our children be the best they can be (autism or not), autism cannot be remediated. Sorry. Read today's Globe and Mail article on my blog -- Michelle Dawson and Dr. Laurent Mottron are working together. A scientist has finally figured this out. And both were ont the front page of Canada's national newspaper today. Finally.

This debate is about acceptance. It is about regarding anyone with a disability as a sentiant, capable being, no matter how differently they learn, express or interperet the world.

It would be nice if the world could really accept difference instead of playing lip service to it. You can't sit on both sides of the fence. I know it makes uncertain parents sometimes more comfortable in doing so, but hey, this issue ain't comfortable.



Hi there,
Found your blog a while back and have been hooked. I'm a mom to a 4.7 y/o currently being evaluated for AS, as well as a professional working with kids on the spectrum (I'm a licensed creative arts therapist/registed drama therapist). I completely get where you're coming from, here. But I think that sometimes parents want to know that their kids have the potential to be great, despite their difficulties. At least that's what I hear from parents whose kids I treat, not directly, but that's what drives their questions and comments, I believe. I ran a mental health program in NYC for many years, and there we had a poster that listed all the famous people with mental illness (many of the names on your list were on that poster!) and to be honest, at first I wasn't too fond of it. But it really did give hope to a lot of people that came through our doors - people with serious persistant mental illness (schiziphrenia, bi-polar disorder, etc) who gave themselves the chance to discover their own creativity and talents (with lots of the right supports). So the remediation,in this case, helped people to find their ability to shine - and that's what's at the core, not the illness.
Thanks for the thoughts...

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