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Sorry,i don't know how to receive my response, why?

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God helps those who help themselves..

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Wonderful blogs, but about the last two paragraphs (mean I don't really understand. Can you explain it?

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Honesty is definitely the best policy but would never want to say or do something major that would later regret once I'd cooled down.

There are always difficult times, very difficult times. Whilst I'm in the middle of them, I cannot figure out how I will ever cope, but we all do, somehow or another.

It never seems as bad the next day.

I also know that I for one, bear no resemblance to the person I was before they were born. They have fundamentally changed my entire thought process.

I also think that our children, all of them, will grow up into people with more potential than we ever dreamed of when that first evaluation dropped in our laps.

Best wishes


I LOVE this. I LOVE what you are saying Kyra. I LOVE that kids with ASD are teaching us that so what...people hand flap...get over it! I mean it's much better than sending our country to war, just because. Once upon my "differencees" got me a diagnosis of autism and I can finally celibrate my own differences and be gratedful for and love the differences in our messengers who are trying to teach us to stop being so judgemental, to gain some perspective, to appreciate diversity...hallelujiah and amen!


Well written and throught provoking.

Labels, degrees of severity: spectrum, acceptance, respect - all of these things I think about, and worry about "offending" language while trying to express my feelings honestly.

Thank you for your words.


I wish I could buy a shirt with this post on it! You said exactly what I have been trying to convey for so long, but you did it much more eloquently.
Thank you for some peace of mind that I am not alone in thinking the same thing.
Thank you.



Wow, Kyra, fabulous post. I have been feeling tognue-tied for weeks, mulling over that "whiner" epithet that's been bandied about, and wondering how to write about the darker moments of my time in parenting Sweet M without sounding as though I'm advocating child-murder, or more generally participating in a stereotype that is being developed of autism moms as totally undone and unstable. Thank you.


Thanks for this, Kyra. I love what you write! I really love this quote, "Put the relationship ahead of compliance". I wish I read this yesterday, it could have saved me and Roo from a lot of unnecessary grief.

Keep writing from your heart the way you do.

Vicki Forman

Right on. So many amazing insights here. I agree wholeheartedly with the "why am I minimizing this?" scenario, just because some part of society reinforces that. The other night my son's neurologist said, "these kids were never in the public eye," and I said, "yes, and that made everyone's life easier, didn't it?" Please continue to be honest--I know you will--it's so good for everyone concerned.


K., I'm with special and brilliant, PUT THE RELATIONSHIP AHEAD OF COMPLAINCE. Oh. My.God. This is what I think I've been trying to do, and what I need to do, in dealing with Pippy. Much of what you write is applicable for ALL OF US...and it IS "us", all of us, no them. We're ALL "them."


Your posts are always thought provoking Kyra, and this is no exception. I find myself editing the language I use in some of my posts and in conversation, and then I become irritated because what I am editing is in NO WAY offensive. This has become a war of semantics and terminology. I resent feeling tongue tied when I seek to engage in discussions about my son with autism. Is autism also on the list of unacceptable words as are tantruming, disorder, and the like?
How can we hope to have honest conversations that bring awareness if parents, particularly NT parents feel anxious about every word that comes out of their mouths?? Putting all these constraints on parents will close down communication. It is stifling and uncomfortable to constantly filter every thought in fear of offending someone. I may be in the minority here, but I would rather a mom of a child with autism approach me for help or advice or even to share without the fear of having to use sterilized language.
I'm ranting now, sorry.
The ASA conference is a good thing-no doubt. I am grateful to you for sharing your experience with us. I will go calm down now.


I think the wisest thing here -- in a cornucopia of wisdom -- is to put the relationship first. This, it seems to me, has resonance to AS, and everyone else. We're all nothing more than a web of relationships, seems to me.

This, it seems to me, is the fundamental truth that seems to elude the thought-free and posture-rich fool that "society" (that elusively defined entity) has declared fit to lead the free(?) world.

As a person with no experience with AS, I find your musings still to be filled with meaning and insight and humanity (and great writing). Thanks for that.

Kristina Chew

"Us" is "Them," amen! And yes, beware that tiny elephant---my own boy being so clearly "different" and some close relations having passed to the point that they would be puzzled if I asked them if they "had" AS.

Keep up the honest talk. We (whoever that me) so need it.

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