Do you read Salon? If so, you now know that 'Bush is Back'.
They're talking about down there. And hair.
Personally? I love the off-color conversation but I am always taken aback when I see read articles about things like the hair styles of the female nether-region.
Last week, I read an article about the proliferation of specialty salons that nip and tuck, redesigning women's external trappings. With knives and shit. Apparently there's been so much, er, exposure that the ladies are wanting to spiff up the scene. Geez. It used to be that just our boobs or butts or noses or tummies or asses were too big; now we're critical of our labias?
Forgive me. I said it.
Labia labia labia!
Does anyone else wonder about the amount of time these women are spending with hand held mirrors? Okay, there was a time long ago when I sat on the bathroom floor with my own mirror but the whole scene was so complicated I gave up.
Now, I've done a little yard work, come in close for the teeny bikini, not quite a landing strip and definitely never cleared the field.
For this mom, it all comes down to organization and money. If I've got a lot of both, I'm sporting a Dorito. If things have been rough, I'm smuggling a hedgehog.
With this new trend spotted by Salon, I may not be alone.
I had a friend in Jersey who wanted that surgery. I was aghast when she told me. Why is it people who are usually perfectly healthy want to do things like that? I don't get it. Not at all.
Posted by: Marla | December 12, 2008 at 11:12 PM
I just snorted some cofee too
u r sooo funny
Posted by: Kajoli | December 12, 2008 at 02:37 PM
OMG!!! HELP!!! CAN'T! STOP! LAUGHING!
i had no idea i was STILL supposed to be concerned about these things. dorito?? hedgehog??
Posted by: cyndi | December 12, 2008 at 06:40 AM
I'd have to lift up the flap that is my stomach after three c-sections in order to even see what's going on down there. The reason why I really need to sign up for your diet program. January, here I come!
Posted by: elizabeth | December 12, 2008 at 02:40 AM
you are f**king hilarous. pardon my hidden french. the dorito! the hedgehog! my sides are aching. thanks for the laughs.
Posted by: camerashymomma | December 12, 2008 at 12:29 AM
Oh how I heart thee... thanks for this post, I needed a good chuckle about my lady bits.
Posted by: ~ danielle | December 11, 2008 at 09:40 PM
I had to add...
"there was a time long ago when I sat on the bathroom floor with my own mirror but the whole scene was so complicated I gave up."
Now you know how the vast majority of guys feel. We're simple. One location...quite easy to interpret, visually speaking. Ladies? WAY more complicated. I refuse to embark on any romantic endeavors unless I have my trusty love kit:
condoms...pen light...map.
Sort of hurts the mood when I break out the last two...but still. It's necessary.
Posted by: M | December 11, 2008 at 09:35 PM
Oh my goodness! What a great post! I'm laughing out loud. Who knew so much thought was put into hair down there.
Peace!
Posted by: Barbara | December 11, 2008 at 08:54 PM
Bwahahahahahah! I just spewed coffee all over my desk! Holy Sh*t! Um, TMI alert but I can tell ya, the Brazilian thing...OMFG OMFG OMFG. Never again.
And MO'N, your comment about made me lose it again! ROFLMAO
Kyra, doll, I've missed your voice!
Posted by: niksmom | December 11, 2008 at 08:52 PM
Whuh.
My knowledge of feminine hair issues just quadrupled.
I would say it's increased more, but I'm not sure what the words are for that.
Ninetupled?
Posted by: incipient M | December 11, 2008 at 03:03 PM
i'm with you, M! step away from the labia. unless you are there strictly to celebrate and, well, i'll stop right there...
Posted by: Kyra | December 11, 2008 at 02:22 PM
Holy. Shit. I can't believe women put themselves through these Brazilian wax things, let alone a surgical option. I'm not letting anybody near my labia. I'm just sayin'.
Posted by: M | December 11, 2008 at 02:09 PM
As long as it doesn't taste like a dorito or smell like a hedgehog. All I'm sayin'.
Posted by: Michelle O'Neil | December 11, 2008 at 10:53 AM
i just snorted coffee
Posted by: jess | December 11, 2008 at 10:20 AM
ha! so funny! and so nice to see you, girlfriend!
Posted by: Kyra | December 11, 2008 at 09:51 AM
I'm betting it's a bunch of moms that decided it took waaaaaaaaaay too long to keep up things down there.
Or rather, folks who think bald = bad porn star.
I figure, what's so wrong with looking like a porn star from between your waist and knees. Lord knows everywhere else I look like a gym rat who hasn't showered in 4 days.
Posted by: Mominatrix - Motherhood Uncensored | December 11, 2008 at 09:27 AM